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 "The Abnormal Essay?"

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Simplex
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PostSubject: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:18 am

Basically. Here I will start with a post, and I would like any, and all to add their own line(preferably continuing the topic) into it so that we may create a wonderful piece of bullshit writing.

I gazed into the horizon, bewildered by the beauty of the evening sky. I see fleets of rock crash into the ocean, and I am reminded of an agenda I was to complete.
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jorgen
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Sun Oct 25, 2009 1:03 pm

i was watching a lovely lady butterfly when i suddenly got a weird sensation down below
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Juani
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:45 pm

Below me was the midget. His evil sneer bounced off the walls as he methodically proceeded to rip chunks of flesh from my leg. I wailed in horror and kicked his face with my healthy leg. I didn´t measure my strenght. The upper side of his jaw blew off as blood sprayed my face. I tasted the blood. It was salty and creamy, it left a warm feeling in my throat.

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jorgen
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:48 pm

yet my wood didn't go away i was still focused on cows and they made me horny!!!
by now u can guess my name it is juan i am an argentinian boy who likes to make essays about killing zombie midgets.
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:54 pm

And Jorgen looked at what he had written and he saw that it was good. This was the fifth day.

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jorgen
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Sun Oct 25, 2009 4:56 pm

on the sixth day he fucked with a hot japanese girl, and continued the story of juan the country boy
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Juani
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:00 pm

The japanese girl, after getting pregnant, confronted Jorgen after the war and told him he was responsible for the baby. Dr Juani was witnessing the scene. Jorgen got angry with the girl and eventually, after the girl hit him with a glass bottle, he shot her. Then he proceeded to flame Dr Juani claming that he could have stopped it, that he could have turn the bottle into snowflakes. Dr Juani apparently no longer gave a shit about humanity. Then Jorgen shouted "MEDIC". Out of nowhere, a weird thing popped over his head. It was a white chat pop up with a red cross on it. Dr Juani decided to ignore this while Jorgen trailed away.

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jorgen
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Sun Oct 25, 2009 6:23 pm

then jorgen found out he would have to make upp a large plan to frame dr juani for the murder off the japanese girl, he sat that night until on the five in the morning he found out he would sneak into juanis room and plant the gun in his hands (what jorgen did not know was that juani had just wanked and there were remnants of sperm all over his hands).
He put the gun in his hand then found out he had the fingerprints on the gun so he would take the gun and place it under his pillow, when he tried to take the gun though the gun wouldn't move it was as if it was glued together by some mystical glue.
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Simplex
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Mon Nov 02, 2009 6:43 am

The mystical glue was really Juani's semen, he always ejaculates under the pillow. Jorgen reached in and tried harder and harder to pull it out, but to no avail. He saw Juani shuffling in his sleep so he began to move away. Before he reached the door, Juani awoke to feel his cheek stained with semen.
"What the fuck?"
But before Juani got up, Jorgen had managed to get out of the room. He was now running, getting as far away as possible.

(Note, you guys have some disturbing plot lines.)
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jorgen
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:50 am

YES Jorgen said out loud when he was a along way from juani's house, then he thought for himself that juani's scitsophrenia will make him believe he did it and i will get of the hook.
When Jorgen got home he found his old dirty magazines and released the tension out.
After that he went to a phone booth and called dr juani telling him he knew his secret to further his ideas that he had killed the bearer of Jorgen's offspring.

(note: yes we have and be free to add a new character if u wanna lol)
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wholegrain
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:31 pm

wholegrain was slim man young indian 6 year old boy who enjoyed older men and candy in dirty vans while the location of his pants were a mystery. He had a think accent and a weird fascination with 7/11 stores and hershey bars. Jorgen as he stepped into my house (that payphone you dick you stepped on my bed!) I screamed "you hussy" to which jorgen replied
"your mom is a hussy"
I called him fat and started to cry as he called juani.
Juani and i decided we were wonder twins
we banged our fists together and we ran to a warehouse where juani was milking midgets.
Jorgen came in with words blazing throwing "you hussy" statements to and fro as fast as a machine gun on a crisp morning in vietnam with planes swooshing over head.
Jorgen and Juani made up and shared a glass of midget milk.
Then Juani sucked my balls
then Jorgen gave Juani a cookie and we all went back into the wom of britney spears

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Wholegrain: i have to poop
Wholegrain: can you help me?
Wholegrain: get da toilet paper perhaps?
Hitler's Spaceship: YEAH, JUST UPEN WIDE
Hitler's Spaceship: OPEN YOUR ASSHOLE REAL WIDE
Wholegrain: 0_o
Hitler's Spaceship: AND ILL SEE IF I CAN CRAWL IN THERE AND FIX THE PIPES
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jorgen
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Mon Nov 02, 2009 7:47 pm

then jorgen found out right before he entered britneys vagina that he would get loads and loads of std's if he got close to there so he let juani and wholegrain enter firstly then he ran away and threw in a cookie with c4 inside it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM it said when britney spears blew upp, juani and wholegrain survived because jorgen had cleverly mixed it in such a degree that they wouldn't get hurt to badly.
wholegrain's clothes had been torn off by juani and there was loads of white liquid all over the room, pluss juanis sippers where drewn down and his weener was hanging downwards after the terrifying experience of geting blown out of britney spears.

litle did they know that they both would die 10 years later off aids, and this is the story about the time leading upp until that moment, where they both sleep together ready to die.
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Juani
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Mon Nov 02, 2009 8:37 pm

But Juani wanted to take his revenge upon those who had confronted them. Whole ran off with Jorgen, both scared by his death threat. Long they hid, never leaving the small wooden house lost in the middle of the mountain. But silent, lurking in the shadows, Juani awaited. One night, he showed up on the front door. He dissolved though the tightly locked door and entered the house. Whole and Jorgen were both sleeping peacefully. Little did they know of the monstrous destiny that awaited them. Juani started with Whole, leaving juicy Jorgen for the last moment.
To stop Jorgen from waking up, he placed a chloroform filled bandage in his nose. Then he approached Whole. He began by grabbing his arms and legs and fixing them to the bed. Then, he stuffed his mouth with a dirty sock. Then he grabbed a knife and slowly began cutting his chest using a Y pattern. He proceeded to remove the skin, exposing the chest muscle and bone. Then he grabbed a rough gardener machine and methodically proceeded to break each and every one of his ribs. After this, he grabbed his small intestine, cutted it and tied it around his neck. Slowly, Whole started running out of breath. Before his dying breath, Juani stuck both ends of the intestine inside his nose and squeezed hard so that all the fecal matter would enter his respiratory system.

He then turned his attention to Jorgen. The poor fool was still sleeping. After fixing him to the bed too, he waited until the effect of the drug wore off, he wanted him conscious for this.
As he become awake, the panic in his eyes was joyous for Juani. His eyes kept coming back to the butchered corpse that had once been Wholegrain and his head moved rhythmically at the sound of thick, coagulated blood slowly trickling from the bed to the floor, forming a red pool. He didn´t cover his mouth this time, he wanted to hear his squeals and pleads as death approached. He began by removing each and every one of his teethes. Then he applied an electric gun to the bleeding gums. After that, he grabbed a bunch of maggots and inserted them on his ear holes. The maggots slowly started chewing off the inside of his ears. Then he grabbed two metal pins, heated them until they were red, and sharply inserted them in each of Jorgen´s pupils. He then proceeded to remove his hair by brute force until his head was bleeding and not a single hair was standing. By this time, the maggots were slowly making their way to Jorgen´s brain. After chopping his legs, he sprayed the stumps with alcohol and then, using a strong acid, melted his genitalia. As Jorgen began sputtering blood, due to the numerous toxins that Juani had forced down his throat, Juani grabbed his head and slowly began twisting it. Jorgen heard 3 loud CRACKS from his neck bones before he expired, and in the background, Juani´s manically hysterical laughter. And the sound of dripping blood.

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wholegrain
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:05 pm

first of all lol
Quote :
He began by grabbing his arms and legs and fixing them to the bed. Then, he stuffed his mouth with a dirty sock.
i like where this is going if you were a woman gigigidy goo
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was all just a dream like one of Juanis many dreams that he dreams of subdueing men in a VERY VERY VERY gay fashion. When Juani woke up he was in his house a small shack on east cock street. Wholegrain was waiting down the hall in Juanis shack with a stack of doughnuts touching a monkey in a very naughty way. Juani walked over to wholegrain and rubbed his eyse then his crouch then his eyes again. Juani made his usual arguement about politics his arguement for hating obama went something like
"MMMEWWEHAARROO MEH SACK MEH MMMWWWEEAHHRRRROO'
and to this Jorgen who was in the corner responded with a
"hey your fat fatty!" type of comeback all such a weak mind could muster.
Wholegrain who was quite patient today with these 2 numbskulls claimed that these "bitches wouldn't get me mah sandwich"
Wholegrain then started to slap you all when you became bitches and ran away to the neighbors house.

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Wholegrain: i have to poop
Wholegrain: can you help me?
Wholegrain: get da toilet paper perhaps?
Hitler's Spaceship: YEAH, JUST UPEN WIDE
Hitler's Spaceship: OPEN YOUR ASSHOLE REAL WIDE
Wholegrain: 0_o
Hitler's Spaceship: AND ILL SEE IF I CAN CRAWL IN THERE AND FIX THE PIPES
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jorgen
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:14 pm

theese where the twisted dream juani had when jorgen silently as a ninja went into juanis room, after years of silent fear sneaking upp on him when hiding from juani.
Jorgen started with drugging juani with the date rape drug called ruphies, when juani finally came to Jorgen had kidnapped juanis girlfriend/cowfriend and as juani watched Jorgen slowly cut off everything from her body striping her off skin and everything, u see Jorgen had grown quite insane being all isolated with whole and his none ending blabbering.
After he had done that he saw that the cow was still alive so he slit it's troath LAUGHING as he did it saying to juani there is no reason to scream because this bunker is as soundproof as can be, juani though kept on screaming and screaming as his cow slowly bled out, leaving a gigantic pool of blood on the floor.
Jorgen then progressed to cuting it all upp into managable sizes and then started grinding it upp and added some poison inside it, until finaly when it was done he forced juani to eat it bite by bite he ensured that he had eaten everypart ever the uteris.
after that being done he saw juanis evil stare as he finaly realized how horrible his death would be, the kind of stare that would make u go numb if u wheren't already dead inside, as Jorgen already was.
he then went on to shoting juani in the foot and everywhere with a nail gun ensuring that he didn't hit something fatal, he then binded upp all his limbs until no blood could squeese trough then he hired a whore to work him over (that he later killed with a fatal shot to the head) as juani got worked over his blood started streaming towars his cock that was bounded so tightly that nothing could get trough, juani felt like if his whole weener would explode.
after 20 minutes Jorgen cut the weener off with a swift move like a well learned surgeon, but when it came to his other limbs he took a chainsaw and cut them both off in the most horrible way thinkable.
juani then started to say all of the things he had planned to do with Jorgen and wholegrain, which in term made Jorgen even mader, he took the blade and used some of juanis ideas he cut his chest in a y form and brok off all the ribs.
then he told him this is when you die and he stabbed his hearth and got it over with.
then Jorgen pinched himself to see that it was not a dream, wich it wasn't and then went on to clean the bunker, and getting rid of the evidence.

(note: i am sorry that i posted this after ur post wholegrain, it took me such a long time to write xD and i didn't even notice what u wrote because my parents were yelling at me to go to bed lol)


Last edited by jorgen on Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:03 am; edited 1 time in total
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Simplex
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Mon Nov 02, 2009 11:08 pm

"That is some fucked up mother fucking fucking cock shitting fuck you did Jorgen." Wholegrain muttered as he entered the room.
Juani immediately darted his eyes, "It wasn't me."
"Damn right its you you cock sucking whore."
Simplex entered to see the crime. You two need to shut the fuck up, there is a lot of evidence to destroy. We live right next to ZPS_Policestation, you better get your ass on it.
"I don't want to clean it," whined Wholegrain.
"You can go eat more donuts and touch little children in the van," Jorgen and Simplex said simultaneously.
"Okay, so what are we going to do Simplex?"
"I don't fucking know, there's too much blood, his DNA is everywhere now."
"Well how can I get rid of it?"
"Zombies. We have to enter ZPO_Descent and take the virus. We need something to cover up our crime."
"Zombies? Are you fucking mad Simplex?!!?"
"DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL AND GET BUTT RAPED EVERY FUCKING DAY BY HOMO EROTIC MEN!!!?!?"
"No."
"Then let's go."
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Chalupa-pie
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:22 pm

"HOLY SHIT!" Wholegrain yelled as he saw a horde of zombies coming towards him.
"OMG!!! INFECTED PUPPY IS PLAYING AS THE CARRIER! WE'RE ALL FUCKED!" Simplex yelled. During this Chalupa-pie was sitting safe in a bunker, he pressed a button that said "Launch the mother fucking nuke that will fuck up the zombies, wholegrains ass, Simplex, and everyone else". Chalupa-pie laughed as he watch a screen showing a nuke falling on them blowing them all to hell. "MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EAT THAT WHOLEGRAIN" Chalupa-pie yelled into his mic as everyone raged and left the server, then chalupa-pie walked away from his computer and opened his fridge and grabbed a chalupa and ate it.


I WIN THE END
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Thu Nov 19, 2009 6:28 pm

hilarious
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:33 am

Pwn3dl1fe wrote:
hilarious

Thanks, it took me like 5 minutes to write.
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Simplex
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:36 am

I'm going to edit it all so that it will be grammatically correct(if intended to be) eventually. Until then, ANOTHER STORY BEGINNING NAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

The nuke. It. It... It did not kill Infected Puppy, in fact, it only spawned more zombies, this was the beginning of a new carrier who would succeed Puppy, it was... Cadaver. He was once an upstanding citizen, but after all the F!@#ing b!$@&@^t that his laptop gave him, he had a bit too much. He is now coming back for vengeance, preying upon anyone who has a laptop cooler.
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:44 am

....*walks away from the internet*
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Tue Dec 01, 2009 3:43 pm

Livin' in a Zombie Paradise: Episode 1

But Cadaver needed more help, for there were too many laptop coolers. So he bit michael jacksons corpse and brought him back to life. Then michael bit wholegrain, who bit Simplex, who bit claire, who infected everyone with aids. And soon there was an army of zombies bent on the destruction of all laptop coolers and their owners.



But there was one amongst the mass of laptop coolers who could unite all laptop coolers to do battle against the zombie horde. He was Cooler Master Notepal (R9-NBC-ADAS). With his super powerful freezing abilities he could lower the zombies body temperature until they thought it was their winter hibernation time and they fell asleep. Then he'd hack them to pieces and put the pieces into a chalupa pie. Though Cooler Master Notepal was very tough he couldnt hope to beat them all. He needed help...but from whom?

TO BE CONTINUED>>>
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Simplex
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PostSubject: Re: "The Abnormal Essay?"   Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:51 am

Livin' in a Zombie Paradise: Episode 2

Cooler Master Notepal sat down on his mahogany chair, laying his laptop and cooler on the table in front of him. He laid back and was about to fall asleep until *You got mail!*

He examined his e-mail, there was one man who could help him. "Priest."

"I believe that now we are facing an epidemic. A pandemic in the creation. This, however, is not a disease which we can cure with modern medicine. You must prepare yourself, good sir; our time will not be long."

How did he know? I have to contact hi- *Crash.*

A zombie stood before him, emitting a foul stench of death; it held the broken laptop in its decayed hands. It tried to attack, but Notepal froze the zombie in its place. He grabbed a sledgehammer, and shattered the corpsicle.

"That's one less zombie we have to worry about."

He heard a whine not too far away. Notepal examined outside, there were zombies attacking a group of young mistresses.

"But there's billions we still have to worry about..."

TO BE CONTINUED>>>
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